WELCOME TO THE BOARDING AREA

“Welcome to the boarding area. My name is Xenon, your gate agent. We are going to be boarding by group, and I’ll be calling those groups out one by one. There’s no need to stand and crowd the boarding area - you can simply relax and wait for your group to be called.

We will begin by boarding those needing assistance. Followed by first class. Followed by active military. Followed by our Priority Silver members. Followed by Priority Gold. Followed by Admiral Silver. Followed by Admiral Bronze. Followed by Secondary Admiral, but more Gold than Bronze. Followed by Getaway Platinum Select. Followed by Getaway Platinum. Oops, I forgot to call Getaway Platinum Select Priority, so all Getaway Platinum Select and Getaway Platinum could you please allow the Getaway Platinum Select members to cut in? I’m terribly sorry for that inconvenience.

We will now board all Business Bronze Elevated members. Followed by Business Bronze Elevated with Companion. Followed by Titanium Preferred+. Followed by Titanium Preferred Lite. Followed by Titanium Preferred basic. Followed by Admiral’s Extended Cousins. Followed by the Loyalty Circle. Followed by the Loyalty Circle With Star. Followed by the Loyalty Circle With Star and Stripe. Followed by all Hexagon Rhombus Club members. Followed by Premium Cabin Elite.

Finally, we are ready to board all our fantastic and appreciated Unlimited Entry Kryptonite members. Followed by Slightly Limited Entry Kryptonite. Followed by Moderately Limited Entry Kryptonite. Followed by Drastically Limited Entry Kryptonite. Followed by Admiral Choice Gold But Only on Weekdays. Followed by Loyalty Century Holiday. Followed by Loyalty Century Except on Holidays. Followed by Loyalty Century Except on Historically Sensitive Holidays.

And now we are ready to board Group 1, consisting of Paul Dexter, who paid $75 for early boarding privilege.”